I wasn’t able to attend the workshop, but the revisions I made were based on the comments my peers made on my paper. One of the main points that Chris mentioned was that I needed to add more information in my introduction because it felt rushed and Diego mentioned that my thesis statement was a little confusing so one of the things I focused on with my revision was strengthening my introduction paragraph and formulating a thesis that was clear and supported my paper. Another thing that Chris had mentioned was that my quotes were too long and that I needed to include more in my analysis of the quotes so that was another big thing that I focused on in this revision. I made sure to go back and shorten those then I worked on my sandwich technique and made sure that I was able to introduce and analyze my quotes properly. Lastly, I worked to shorten my second paragraph because I tried to fit two quotes from one essay in there and it ended up making the paragraph super long and it felt rushed so I worked to make it into two separate paragraphs and just tied them together with the topic sentence.
